What Barack Obama Means to Me

What Obama means to me...

As a teenager I became intrigued and inspired by the writing of the great Black-American James Baldwin. Though the days of his greatest work took place during the Civil Rights movement three decades earlier, his words helped me come to grips with some of the questions about the American racial identity, and my own -- questions that had increasingly dominated my intellectual concentration. Baldwin once wrote that there comes a time in every Black child's life when he realizes that he is not White.

I remember quite vividly the first time I knew that I was not White. I was about five or six years old and at an after school program at the "Children's Aid Society," playing with a group of my peers. While I was not by any means a dark skinned child, I was darker, and the "brownest" of the group. One of the white kids, who came from an Italian family, was blowing bubbles from his gum, and we were taking turns popping it with our fingers (amazing what kids find amusing is it not?). When it came to be my turn, he refused to blow another bubble, stating coldly, "I don't want a brown-boy touching my gum!"

The parallels between my upbringing and Obama's are not overwhelming, though far greater than most. Barack Obama was raised in Hawaii, while I grew up, primarily in Greenwich Village, New York City. Neither of us grew up with money, our parents (his grandparents) struggling at times to provide for us what we needed to be healthy and succeed, yet they were able to provide. Obama was raised with the ideals of an America that did not necessarily apply to most who looked like him. He was educated in good schools and possibly more importantly, by his experiences living in other countries and seeing the way in which the former European colonies of the world struggled. In Hawaii, he was somewhat insulated from the tension that existed on mainland America. Even though these tensions surely affected him, the cynical world view of many Black Americans (created by the legacy of America's shameful racial history and its continual affect on the country's present day reality) could not have been as prevalent in Obama.

The environment of Greenwich Village in the 80's and 90's provided me with far from a traditional upbringing. I was walking to school by myself before I had even reached 8 years of age (it was only three blocks away, but still). By junior high school the streets and subways were no stranger to my friends and I, and by the start of high school I knew the bars that wouldn't card us when we wanted a beer. By college I had been to many a protest march in Washington D.C.

The last remnants of the "Beatnik," "Hippie," artist culture that had made the neighborhood so unique and diverse helped shape my passions, my activities, and my frustration with my country as a whole. Let us not forget that I came of age in the Giuliani "police state" era that vilified all youth, especially Black youth, without cause (nothing new, but more intense than had been seen in a decade). It is not easy to escape an education of the hard, cold truths about the reality of race, class, and power when you are raised in a city like New York. While there were, and are, people of all races, economic status, and cultural backgrounds mixing together, some divisions along those lines were, and still are, quite present and clear. Suspicion of power and the understanding of how it is used to separate us from one another and control us was a common thread.

Yet, I cannot omit the dedication that my peers I and have to social and economic justice. My New Yorkers may be cynical about politics and power, but we never stop fighting to create a better world. Very few of the people I grew up with around the city work in corporate fields, while many work for non-profit organizations, or are creative artists in some fashion or another. Most have chosen to be part of our world's solutions rather than its problems... and also, most hate Republicans.

Obama's father was absent throughout his life, but my father, while not living with my mother and I, was around. A Black man of African ancestry and Caribbean birth, "Pop" was serious more often than I would have liked, but as he aged he softened a bit. In many ways I had the wrong personality for a first son of a man of his disposition. I was far too independent and rebellious. I was far too disrespectful and demanding. I was far too much taller than him at far too early an age! Still, despite our differences, my father still had profound affects on who I am today. His understanding of the world and his skin color, informed mine, despite the changes in society that had taken place as his generation gave birth to mine.

While Obama has noted that the absence, yet greatness of his father has influenced his drive to achieve on a psychological level, I cannot say the same. When I was 15 years old I asked my father if he would "lay off" about school. I told him that I could not take the pressure, questions, and nagging from both him and my mother. I needed my time with him to be an escape from all that. He seemed to understand this as the beginning of manhood for me. He responded, "Fine, if you want to be a plumber and clean up people's mess, it's up to you. If you want to be a locksmith and help people into their homes, I'll support you." This was his way of releasing me to the world and it helped to allow me the freedom I needed to begin my journey of "the self." Still, we had our problems. I suppose it is unavoidable to a degree when it comes to testosterone driven creatures. But, he was there and I take from my father the things I respect, and try my best to leave his shortcomings. Obama never had that opportunity.

Like Barack Obama, I was primarily raised by a single White mother who was ever conscious of my skin color. She knew that despite the growing acceptance of "bi-racial" children she needed to raise me as a Black child. She understood (and my father never let her forget) that my "otherness" would be central to my life experiences, and that my understanding of this would be central to my survival. She was always encouraging and praising of me. I remember when I was in second grade and my teacher asked her if I had truly written the paper I had handed in. She told the woman honestly, that she had typed it for me from my dictation without changing a word. My mind simply moved too fast for the pen to keep up and my handwriting was illegible. The teacher was amazed and my mother never stopped telling the story. While my dad made every single one of my sports games, my mother came to quite a few, always reminding me how much better I would be if I would dedicate a little more time to practicing. She dressed me in bright colors as a young child and I kept the trend going 'til this day. I suppose she believed that colors make everyone happy. "Be yourself," and, "Don't forget to dance at the party!" were her mantras. Like Obama's, my mother's openness, and individuality (though never at the expense of others) was central to my upbringing. It has been a source of empowerment for me throughout my life.

However, unlike "Brotha" Obama, I've never been an overachiever, despite having achieved plenty. I do not mean that last bit as an insult to the good Senator. In fact, lately I have been feeling a bit ashamed of myself for not being an overachiever. Whether in school, sports, or in my other passions, I have always relied too heavily upon innate talent and intellect to get by. While I know what it means to work hard toward my goals, inconsistency has plagued me at times. Inconsistency is not what inspires or creates greatness. Greatness takes relentless work, dedication, and sacrifice. It takes an extra hour of studying each night, one more revision on every term paper, an extra set at the gym, and focus like few of us find in our lives.

If I had this extra drive could I have been Obama? That's not the point. The point is we should ALL try to be a bit more like Obama. We should all put a little bit more effort into everything we do. And no matter who you vote for, you've got to give the man his props... he is a hardworking, overachieving, superior example of what an American can be. Like myself, Obama has suffered and ultimately surmounted the identity issues that come with not simply being an African-American in this country, but being one of mixed racial descent. He, like I, had to work harder and be more skillful than those White children next to him, not just to stand out, but to meet the cut. This is a reality of race in our country that has never fully been overcome. Once it is accepted as reality the question becomes how does one deal with this "White Privilege?" For me, and seemingly Barack, it pushed us harder. While we come from different experiences, and even a different generation, we have both dedicated ourselves towards making the world a better place. And we both play basketball...

There are other differences as well. For one, I have never had an overwhelming belief in the goodness of America, or Americans. The more I learned about our history and the more I understood my identity to be rooted in the Black experience, the less patriotic I became. While I cannot deny my good fortune to be raised in the wealthiest country in the world, my people were, until recently, considered assets. This legacy continues to haunt Black Americans and hold us back from our seeming destiny, both on a psychological and institutional level, which in turn prevents America as a whole from achieving her true potential. My worldview is shaped by my country's shortcomings. While I was not raised by a wealthy family, I was never wanting. Still, there is nothing acceptable to me about having homeless people in the wealthiest city, in the wealthiest country in the world. I don't believe that great disparities in wealth and opportunity are shaped solely by a man or woman's hard work and ingenuity; wealth creates opportunity for more wealth, power creates opportunity for more power. Thankfully, Obama also believes that great disparities in wealth are bad for a democracy. I hate that many in this country would call him and I Socialist for saying these things. I hate even more that to this day "Socialism" still means evil to many Americans despite how much of it is already a part of our social and economic systems. It makes us look ignorant and stupid to the rest of the world.

Am I anti-American? I don't think so, but certainly more than Obama! He sees America clearly through that same lens that is easily fogged over for others like me... Barack Obama sees the idea of America and what it is supposed to represent to the world. An America that has never existed, but is no less important to the future of us all. It is what allows him to transcend race, gender, religion, and class. Still, as inspiring as this is, it is not why I admire him. Obama doesn't just believe in this idea of America, he seems to have the uncanny power to make others believe as well. I am changing...

I am changing because I am seeing my country change. I am hearing the voices that have always been taken for granted, dismissed, manipulated, and suppressed, finally speaking up. They say that poverty sucks, and war is usually unjust. They scream for equality in opportunity, better education, and dignity in retirement. They want the government to protect and help all people and not just the corporations. It's not total; there are many who don't care about saving the polar bears, they would rather have cheaper oil. There are still others who would rather let the masses suffer in exchange for tax breaks. But more and more I see the pendulum swinging away from these self-centered and self-serving worldviews.

Campaigning just outside of Doylestown, Pennsylvania this past weekend I came face to face with this energy. People of all ages and colors came up in droves from all over New York City to be part of Obama's campaign. They braved the unknown of the Republican-strong Buck County. They went door to door talking to people about the America they had always envisioned, the one Obama envisions -- the one that seems to be slipping away a little more each day. I met White, Republican males, who wouldn't give me the time of day, but others, life-long Republican party members, who were on the fence. While they could barely explain what was keeping them from voting for Obama, they were vocal about what made them suspicious of his opponent. I couldn't tell if it was his being Black or his being a Democrat that made them wary of my candidate, but instead of pushing my views on them, I let them speak. Once they got started they had plenty to say and by the time I left their porch, I no longer had such disdain for Republicans. I felt invigorated, and they seemed to be have gotten over the hump and were moving towards change. These were White, Republican men, who for the first time in their lives were questioning their political, social, and economic beliefs. This was a tangible revolution playing out in front of me. Maybe it wouldn't solve all the world's problems, but this is how it begins.

For the first time I can envision the actual possibility that the United States of America could begin to serve as a true beacon of inspiration to the rest of the world. For the first time in my life I can see the possibility of how our nation could set a new, positive tone for the future-- a future that must be addressed now, before it comes. Living for the moment is no longer a choice. We must begin to live for more than ourselves and learn to live for each other... to honor those who came before, and ensure prosperity for those who will come next.

Thus, Obama means far more to me than my personal connection to his skin color, even though a Black president was a dream to this Black kid. He is more than just a leader who has finally arrived to set things right in Washington; no one person can do it alone, but he can help. Barack Obama is the culmination of every attempt of every American, past and present, who tried to make the constitution a reality for all. He is the sum total of every social movement that fought for civil rights, gender rights, and the acceptance of religious diversity (the word "tolerance" sounds so... “Republican” don't it?), and all of the other freedoms many of us Americans take for granted, and the ones already taken away.

And what's more, he accepts this role, this mantle, this honor. He wants this burden. Barack Obama represents the majority of human beings in this post-colonial world -- the dark, the poor, the hopeless, and he gives them hope. In one week he may become the first of our planet's racial and cultural majority, the "non-Anglo-Saxon" people, to lead a world power since The Ottoman Empire. He may become the first man of African ancestry to lead a world power since the Egyptian and Nubian Empires. The entire world, much of which lives in poverty, and pain (in no small part due to colonization by Europe, Russia, and America), look to our country now with wonder. He brings them hope. He brings hope for all people of the Earth. Hope that we can break cycles of the past that keep us from achieving our potential. Hope in a new way of living. The possibility that we can all come together to find a better way of going at this thing called life.

In one week Barack Obama may take a little bit more of the pain away, which makes room for a little bit more happiness, . And then we can all begin the process of setting things right.

President Obama means a lot to me. He is me... And now I begin my own struggle, to be a bit more like him.

Daisun Cohn-Williams
10/27/08